Sporting Parents – Being a Sporting Parent

Published by Wayne Goldsmith on March 28, 2024

Sporting Parent? Chances are – at some time in your life – you’ll be one.

I’ve been very fortunate that over the last 25 or so years, I’ve delivered sports education and parent education programs right around the world.

One of the most enjoyable things I do at the start of every Sporting Parent session is this.

I say to the audience:

“Stand up. If in the last 48 hours you’ve emptied a sporting bag, packed a sporting bag, cleaned a piece of sporting equipment, cleaned a pair of boots, done something of that nature for your sporting child?”

Around 90 to 95% of the parents in attendance stand up, and at that stage, with a big smile on my face, I normally yell at them very loudly, and say:

“What are you doing it for? Stop doing it! “

Most sporting parents think that doing more things for their kids e.g. packing their bags, making their lunches, setting their alarms, cleaning their sports gear is great parenting. In fact, it’s the exact opposite of what we would like you to do as a sporting parent.

Some of the things that you really need to develop in your children are things like :

• the independence for them to choose to do things for themselves;
• the importance of accepting responsibility for the things that they do and don’t do;
• the ability to accept the accountability for those decisions they make and don’t make.

By doing more for them, you’re impacting on their confidence.

Parents will often say, “How do I develop confidence in my child?”

My answer is: STOP DOING THINGS FOR THEM!

Why?

Because – Confidence comes from knowing and knowing comes from doing.

The more your child can do, the more they know, the more confident they become. Let them do more. Let them do all the little things, stop doing it for them so that they can do more, they learn more, they grow and they develop their confidence.

Towards the end of every Sporting Parent training session I do with an audience, I’ll follow up that first question with this question:

“Stand up. If in the last 24 hours you’ve looked at your child and made them know with absolute certainty that they’re loved, valued, and accepted for no reason other than they are your child?”

And it breaks my heart because less than five percent of the audience stand up, and that’s a tragedy. Of all the things that you can do as a sporting parent, that’s the most important thing.

Love them, value them, and accept them for who they are.

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